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January 10, 2013
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THE VALIARD MANSION - Chapter 1 by The-Ez THE VALIARD MANSION - Chapter 1 by The-Ez

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Hiya guys! :wave: Sorry I've been MIA, but I've been working on this. :XD:

==

STORY SYNOPSIS

Ruth Rosewood is just another member of a typical, middle class Victorian society until a vengeful ghost traps her inside the haunted halls of the Valiard Mansion.

Only one spell can set her free, and only three people believe she can still be saved—her childhood sweetheart Theodore, her best friend Gangfield and her little brother Adam.

To find the spell, Theodore, Gangfield and Adam set off to traverse the dangerous past of an ancient magician, while Ruth must fight to keep her sanity in the all-consuming realm of the forgotten dead.

==

I decided to end the test run of Chapter 1. Now it's time to submit the thing for real. Bunch of changes made in response to reader feedback and crits. :D So if you've read the previous version, please read this one before you keep reading with Chapter 2. :blush:

:star: THIS IS A WORK IN PROGRESS :star:
I will continually be making more drawings, adding colour and working on the layout. The idea is to get feedback on the core story before spending hundreds of hours on illustrations and concepts I might end up abandoning.

If you enjoyed reading this, please let me know! I'm very happy to receive any crits, but I want to know if I'm doing anything right, too! :la: But, as always, ANY AND ALL FEEDBACK IS WELCOME!! :D

Thanks for everything, guys!! :glomp: Your feedback is incredible! Thanks so much!!!! :XD: :heart:


==

CHAPTER 1 | >> CHAPTER 2
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:iconlunamiranda:
LunaMiranda Mar 24, 2014  New member Student Traditional Artist
I'm really excited of starting to read this, I'm already hooked with all the characters' sketches! :happybounce: BTW, have you considered making this  a graphic novel? That would be AWESOME! La la la la 
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:iconlilablack:
LilaBlack Mar 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Read it and now I'm gonna go to sleep cause it's late, but I just wanted to say that I'm COMPLETELY OBSESSED WITH IT ALREADY. YOU. ARE SO BLOODY TALENTED. I LOVE IT SO. FRIGGIN. MUCH, I CAN'T EVEN...ASDFGHJKL
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:iconmalbondesigns:
MalbonDesigns Mar 22, 2014  New member Student Digital Artist
THIS IS GREAT!!
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:iconprincessofdisney27:
AH omg! this is amazing! omg the illustrations in these are awesome too! Ah yeah! i'm going to read more! WOOT!
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:iconeverlastingderp:
EverlastingDerp Mar 10, 2014  New member Hobbyist Digital Artist
Alright, I just read chapter one and it's great! La la la la 

Firstly, I love the illustrations you've put into the chapters. Your art is amazing so it's awesome to see you incorporating that into this story. And I love the covers aswell. Little details like that go a long way.
The synopsis made it impossibly interesting and as for the chapter itself, you've showcased your characters very well here, seriously. I have a good idea of each and every personality and have already memorized their names. Each character is just dripping with personality and individuality, especially in the dialogue where I can easily imagine a unique voice for each one.
Another thing to mention is that can I personally relate to Adam quite a bit in curtain regards so there's already a connection too. And that mystery at the end is a perfect way to keep readers wanting more. Speaking of which, off to the next chapter!
Reply
:iconxsaviann:
Xsaviann Feb 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
fOUND it! ;] Now going to read! (insted of learn... -.-') 
Reply
:iconthereina:
thereina Feb 4, 2014  Hobbyist
ok, i know you're out of da at the moment but i can't delay saying this : THIS IS AMAZING !!! I've fallen for your drawings long ago but didnt read your story until now...Stupid me... i'm not an english speaker yet i can say this is wonderfully written : it's clever, beautifully said, entertaining, and i love your characters even more now that i can hear their voice ! i should do my homework but who cares, i'll read the next chapters right away ! 
thanks for sharing yourdrawings and stories with us ! You really are an inspiration ! 
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Mar 2, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hey I know this reply's a little late!! :faint:

I just wanted to thank you SO SUPER MUCH for reading my story!!! :glomp: Like I appreciate is so much it's insane!!! THANK YOU!!!! :heart:
Reply
:iconthereina:
thereina Mar 2, 2014  Hobbyist
Haha don't apologize :D i knew you were going to be out of DA when i wrote this. I hope everything is allright for you now by the way.
And there is no need to thank me either ! Your story and characters are brillant ! I still can't believe someone can be so good at drawing AND writting ! ( if you're an alien undercover, being this talented won't help hiding it ;))
All this to say : you're very very welcome ;)
Reply
:icondaily92:
Daily92 Jan 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is amazing! I have to say  that Gangfield is my favourite :) Best funny and witty magician ever!!
Reply
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