I completely LOST IT when Gangfield stole Ruth's greeting to Mr Byron!! xD
The dialog up to this point is only getting better and better! Its phenomenal! You seem to have a really good understanding of the high society English (I don't know if that's a thing I'm just calling it that?) etiquette in conversation.
I really. REALLY love Gangfield. And I can't get enough of his lines-- "Forgive me. I seem to have misplaced my rat."
Woo, I am loving this story! the characters are lovely, and I do enjoy friendships in books, haha, all the mocking! I wanted to point this phrase: "Ruth was relieved, but she tried to concealed it" in page 24… is it not "conceal"? I wish there where more illustrations like in last chapter! but the narrative is still clear without them. Gaaad, Gangfield, I accuse you of greeting plagiarism!
Another great chapter! I know you like hearing feedback and stuff, and I did notice one tiny thing that may or may not have been intended; “Settling for life-long security sounds like a pretty good deal to me. Right now I—me, Ruth, right here—I have nothing." I do believe after the second hyphen you can remove the 'I'. I think the hyphens are supposed to be added information, so that when you take the hyphened bit out it'd still make sense *if that makes any sense*.
Like, If you took the 'me, Ruth, right here' out of it, it says, 'Right now I I have nothing.' That's what I've been taught anyway. Forgive me if it was intended. I think I'm in love with Gangfield, I may have to marry him :3
Thanks so much for helping to point out my little mishaps. I'll definitely fix that the next time I dig into these chapters. I copy-paste any corrections by my readers into a special text document, then I bulk-edit every few months. I am a genius.
Thanks again also for reading!!! And hey, if you gotta marry Gangfield, you gotta marry Gangfield. I can't stop you.
I put it off for ages, but I'm finally reading it! Hooray! I noticed a few things in this chapter which may or may not be small, nit-picky, errors.
-On page three towards the bottom, you wrote, "her gown was skew." I'm not certain, but I would think it would be "askew" or "skewed". -On page four, “'I’m already upset,' replied she with a sigh". I read it as "she replied", but it actually says "replied she". I know sometimes you can write things like that in reverse order, so I don't know if that was purposeful or not. -Also on page four, a few times "Millie" becomes "Mille". -On page twenty, Gangfield says, “You do not look at him the same you look at the Chairmaker.” I feel like it should say "same way", but maybe that's a dialect difference. Like saying "in future" vs "in the future".
ANYWAY. Annoying-editor-mode OFF. The story is pretty fun so far! I think Gangfield is officially my favorite character as of now. His and Ruth's interactions are pretty hilarious. Great work. Keep it up!
Annoying editor mode???? ANNOYING editor mode???? ARE YOU NUTS!!???!!
More like SUPER AMAZINGLY HELPFUL editor mode, okay!!! Thanks so much for pointing those out. They were totally typos/mistakes! Seriously, wow, I appreciate it so much!!
I'll be adding some drawings in the very near future, so I'll have to upload this chapter soon anyways. I'm so stoked I got some things to fix in the text, too, now. It just makes sense to do it all in one go. Please never hesitate to point anything out. I really need the assistance!!!
And thanks for taking the time to read and comment! I sincerely hope you keep enjoying the story!!
Ah, Gangfield! So mischievous! This was a very humorous chapter, I found myself laughing quite a bit at some of Ruth's awkward antics and Gangfield's general tomfoolery. I like how you mix in serious bits with the humor...you have a good balance in this story. I find myself smiling in between the serious bits, and it only enhances, rather than detracts.
OMG okay this is an amazing story. Your vocabulary, and the characters!! They all have such interesting and amusing personalities!! Gangfield always makes me laugh, the others, too. I really admire how well written the story is. And your art is phenomenal too!
This chapter is just awsome! I was so like OMG! no way! when Gangfield stole Ruth's line! Amazing! And I belive the "friend who can hide in corners" is the rat, isn't it? I'm happy also that Ruth got her revenge! Soooo cool! The only thing that I'm wondering is: If Gangfield (btw I love his first name! Chester is soooo adorable!! <3) and Ruth are best firends, how come that Gangfield doesn't know about nothing Theodore? I guess you'll explain that later on Also I supouse Ruth haven't said a word to anyone yet, have she?
I call him "WHY-thurt". I'm not sure that's how the British would pronounce it, but eh. The longer-sounding "y" sound is far more pleasing to the ear. I'm sure I have far worse inaccuracies in my story for pedantic people to focus on.
In the end you're more than welcome to pronounce it the way you like. I mean, it's for your enjoyment after all.
Hey! I love that you're helping me with some copy editing. Thank you very much! I'll take some time to reply to each of your comments with a big hug!!
I just wanted to say that I'm using British spelling, so swapping the 'z' out for an 's' in words like apologise and realise is correct, as is adding a 'u' to words like favourite and colour. The 'u' was actually taken out of the American spelling by the US press way back when to save on printing costs. Pretty cool, huh?
And I meant for Adam to smile in vindication. He hates getting preened so he loves it when his mom gets it wrong.
thanks! I'm not used to british spelling, so excuse me if I make a mistake. If I see any "real" grammar errors, I'll be sure to say it. but it's hard looking for mistakes while enjoying your wonderful story! I usually never read online stories. but this one is my "favourite!"
And I know, British spelling is quite weird! I had American schooling up until I was about 14, but I still had to write British, so it was super confusing for me to have to pick the right spellings the whole time. I got so confused.
Thanks again for all your awesome help, my friend! I truly appreciate it LOADS!!!
You had me laughing out loud when Gangfield stole her opening line. I literally had to stop reading to finish laughing first. xD
I love this chapter, amazingly well written. I really felt for Ruth in all her frustration and her clumsy efforts, and as expected I am becoming a huge Gangfield fangirl. Great dialogue and emotional pressure here. Well done!!
Naah as long as I don't have to feed him or take care of his litter and things like that - cause he'd be dead in a week - I'm fine! I think he CAN be annoying to some people at first (Theodore??) but thats cool because it's like with people, some love you, some can't stand you Some think your attitude is gr9 some take it as a flaw of yours.
Personally I love his smugness and general sassyness and perceiveness - I dont even know if these I'm using are words - and how he's not afraid to just speak his mind..and also hes intense (when he's serious)! i want him
AAHHH YOURE SO WELCOME thank YOU for sharing with us
yet another great chapter! yay! finally met Mr. Byron! i must say, he did not look like i expected at all (which is not necessarily a bad thing ) you should draw him sometime if you find the time! (and if you feel like it of course) i loved the scene where gangfield was being so protective over ruth (when he said that byron wasn't good enough for her, and afterwards trying to be intimidating that was so sweet! it was nice to see such a caring side of him) and no, i did not find anything confusing (: maybe one little thing: at one point, Mrs Rosewood says to ruth that she should 'get her act together', and that somehow didn't sound very 19th-century-ish if you know what i mean. But on the other hand, english is not my native language so what do i know (;
Okay, first off, thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. I truly appreciate it so much, you have no idea!
Hmmmmm! I wonder, hey! About the 'get act together' bit... I actually have no idea if it's period-appropriate. I wish there were a way to check. I guess I'll leave it to simmer in there for now. But yes, it's very likely that it's wrong. Thanks for letting me know. I'll keep an eye out to see if I can check up on that one!
I have drawn Byron!! He's top left here --> [link] It's really old and I'd love to redraw him sometime, but I hope that's enough to give you an idea just for now.
Glad you enjoyed it, Thank you for your thorough input! Please let me know if you find anything else that's off. I will check in on that one phrase in the meantime!!!
i've been thinking, about the 'get your act together', maybe 'get hold of yourself' could be another way to put it? i don't know, just thought about it and thought i'd mention it to you ^^ have a great day!
Can I ask you something huge, please?? Do you think I should let slip what happened between Ruth and Theodore in tidbits and dialogue, or would you like to see a fully-fledged flashback? I don't know which to do.
lol. hmm i think the flash back would be good you know like she was talking with sombody or doing somthing and while doing that somthing she had a flashback. . er..umm or never mind ps: omg i cant belive you asked "me" .
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment!! It's so good to hear you're enjoying it!!
Uhm, actually the thought of translating it into another language never crossed my mind. It hardly finds an audience in English, so it's hard to imagine a large enough group of people speaking another language would be interested.
I think for now it'll stay English. Thanks for the suggestion, though