Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
The Valiard Mansion - Chapter 4 by The-Ez The Valiard Mansion - Chapter 4 by The-Ez

It appears you don't have PDF support in this web browser. Download PDF

Time to meet Mr Byron! :la:

Oh my gosh! This literally took months! :faint: This chapter was a logistical NIGHTMARE! :XD: It was originally supposed to be part of Chapter 3, but I'm very glad I split them up. :D

Please let me know if things get confusing. It was tough to run with so many conversations and actions. Please let me know if anything is unclear or superfluous. :blush:


:bulletred: :bulletred: IS THE PDF NOT DISPLAYING? :bulletred: :bulletred:
:bulletpink: Go to Official Download Page
:bulletorange: Read Valiard on Wattpad


==


The Valiard Mansion - Chapter 3 by The-Ez CHAPTER 3 << | CHAPTER 4 | >> CHAPTER 5 The Valiard Mansion - Chapter 5 by The-Ez
Add a Comment:
 
:iconriku-gurl:
riku-gurl Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
I completely LOST IT when Gangfield stole Ruth's greeting to Mr Byron!! xD

The dialog up to this point is only getting better and better! Its phenomenal! You seem to have a really good understanding of the high society English (I don't know if that's a thing I'm just calling it that?) etiquette in conversation.

I really. REALLY love Gangfield. And I can't get enough of his lines-- "Forgive me. I seem to have misplaced my rat."

*dying* x'D :heart:
Reply
:iconsindos:
sindos Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Woo, I am loving this story! the characters are lovely, and I do enjoy friendships in books, haha, all the mocking!
I wanted to point this phrase: "Ruth was relieved, but she tried to concealed it" in page 24… is it not "conceal"?
I wish there where more illustrations like in last chapter! but the narrative is still clear without them.
Gaaad, Gangfield, I accuse you of greeting plagiarism!
Reply
:iconthe-viking-waterbear:
The-Viking-Waterbear Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Student Writer
Another great chapter! 
I know you like hearing feedback and stuff, and I did notice one tiny thing that may or may not have been intended;
  “Settling for life-long security sounds like a pretty good deal
to me. Right now I—me, Ruth, right here—I have nothing." I do believe after the second hyphen you can remove the 'I'. I think the hyphens are supposed to be added information, so that when you take the hyphened bit out it'd still make sense *if that makes any sense*. 

Like, If you took the 'me, Ruth, right here' out of it, it says, 'Right now I I have nothing.' That's what I've been taught anyway. Forgive me if it was intended.
I think I'm in love with Gangfield, I may have to marry him :3
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks so much for helping to point out my little mishaps. :D I'll definitely fix that the next time I dig into these chapters. I copy-paste any corrections by my readers into a special text document, then I bulk-edit every few months. :evillaugh: I am a genius. :B

Thanks again also for reading!!! :hug: And hey, if you gotta marry Gangfield, you gotta marry Gangfield. I can't stop you. :iconcorpsebrideplz: ;)
Reply
:iconthe-viking-waterbear:
The-Viking-Waterbear Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014  Student Writer
I'll send you an invite to the wedding :3 You're welcome! 
Reply
:iconcrispylettuce:
CrispyLettuce Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I put it off for ages, but I'm finally reading it! Hooray!
I noticed a few things in this chapter which may or may not be small, nit-picky, errors.

-On page three towards the bottom, you wrote, "her gown was skew." I'm not certain, but I would think it would be "askew" or "skewed".
-On page four, “'I’m already upset,' replied she with a sigh". I read it as "she replied", but it actually says "replied she". I know sometimes you can write things like that in reverse order, so I don't know if that was purposeful or not.
-Also on page four, a few times "Millie" becomes "Mille".
-On page twenty, Gangfield says, “You do not look at him the same you look at the Chairmaker.” I feel like it should say "same way", but maybe that's a dialect difference. Like saying "in future" vs "in the future".

ANYWAY. Annoying-editor-mode OFF.
The story is pretty fun so far! I think Gangfield is officially my favorite character as of now. His and Ruth's interactions are pretty hilarious.
Great work. Keep it up! :D
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Annoying editor mode???? ANNOYING editor mode???? ARE YOU NUTS!!???!! :la:

More like SUPER AMAZINGLY HELPFUL editor mode, okay!!! :XD: Thanks so much for pointing those out. They were totally typos/mistakes! :faint: Seriously, wow, I appreciate it so much!! :glomp:

I'll be adding some drawings in the very near future, so I'll have to upload this chapter soon anyways. I'm so stoked I got some things to fix in the text, too, now. It just makes sense to do it all in one go. :nod: Please never hesitate to point anything out. I really need the assistance!!! :hug:

And thanks for taking the time to read and comment! :D I sincerely hope you keep enjoying the story!! :glomp: :heart:
Reply
:iconcrispylettuce:
CrispyLettuce Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Student Digital Artist
You are very welcome!
I know you always say you're looking for feedback in the description, but I can't help feeling nitpicky. ;p I'm glad it was helpful!
Excited to read the rest of your story. :D
Reply
:iconxdoglate:
xDoglate Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You should draw Mr. Byron, sometime. :)
Reply
:icon3fangs:
3Fangs Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2014
Ah, Gangfield! So mischievous! :lmao:
This was a very humorous chapter, I found myself laughing quite a bit at some of Ruth's awkward antics and Gangfield's general tomfoolery.
I like how you mix in serious bits with the humor...you have a good balance in this story. I find myself smiling in between the serious bits, and it only enhances, rather than detracts. =)
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yeah this was one of my favourite chapters to write because I could be a little silly with it. :meow: I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :D
Reply
:icon3fangs:
3Fangs Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014
This is a chapter I would LOVE to see animated--there was just so much going on with the characters!
And I'll be honest...when Ruth or Theodore are acting a little awkward I find it really amusing. :XD:
Reply
:iconhoneywolfrin:
HoneyWolfRin Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2014
OMG okay this is an amazing story. Your vocabulary, and the characters!! They all have such interesting and amusing personalities!! Gangfield always makes me laugh, the others, too. I really admire how well written the story is. And your art is phenomenal too! 
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
WOW!!!! THIS COMMENT! JUST!!!! NNNGHHH!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! YOU ARE TOO SWEET!!! :XD: :glomp: :heart: THANK YOU!! :star:
Reply
:icontealeafcoffee:
tealeafcoffee Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
you should make this into an actual book it is so creative i luv it!
Reply
:icondaily92:
Daily92 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This chapter is just awsome! I was so like OMG! no way! when Gangfield stole Ruth's line! Amazing! And I belive the "friend who can hide in corners" is the rat, isn't it? ;)
I'm happy also that Ruth got her revenge! =P (Razz) Soooo cool!
The only thing that I'm wondering is: If Gangfield (btw I love his first name! Chester is soooo adorable!! <3) and Ruth are best firends, how come that Gangfield doesn't know about nothing Theodore? I guess you'll explain that later on :) Also I supouse Ruth haven't said a word to anyone yet, have she? :)
Reply
:iconxxlionrampantxx:
xXLionRampantXx Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This entire thing is awesome~! Also, how do you upload text like that? Llama Emoji-39 (Eager) [V2] 
Reply
:iconheavensbee:
Heavensbee Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Hobbyist
This was a perfect little chapter! I am confused with how to pronounce the name Wythert. Is it 'White-ert' or 'With-ert'? My brain keeps switching between the two. :')
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I call him "WHY-thurt". I'm not sure that's how the British would pronounce it, but eh. The longer-sounding "y" sound is far more pleasing to the ear. I'm sure I have far worse inaccuracies in my story for pedantic people to focus on. ;P

In the end you're more than welcome to pronounce it the way you like. :D I mean, it's for your enjoyment after all. :D
Reply
:iconmaster-oresama:
Master-Oresama Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013
Here are some more spelling errors, a little bit less than usual. I absolutely LOVE you're writing. This should seriously be published!   
 
Adam smiled in vindication. 
I think you meant indication 


“Your favourites, no doubt.”
spelled favorites wrong...again....

Page 23, “Please, I cannot imagine why you are apologising 
spelled apologizing wrong 
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hey! :D I love that you're helping me with some copy editing. Thank you very much! I'll take some time to reply to each of your comments with a big hug!! :glomp:

I just wanted to say that I'm using British spelling, so swapping the 'z' out for an 's' in words like apologise and realise is correct, as is adding a 'u' to words like favourite and colour. :) The 'u' was actually taken out of the American spelling by the US press way back when to save on printing costs. Pretty cool, huh? :D

And I meant for Adam to smile in vindication. ;P He hates getting preened so he loves it when his mom gets it wrong.

Thanks again, you awesome person!!!! :hug:
Reply
:iconmaster-oresama:
Master-Oresama Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2013
thanks! I'm not used to british spelling, so excuse me if I make a mistake. If I see any "real" grammar errors, I'll be sure to say it. but it's hard looking for mistakes while enjoying your wonderful story! I usually never read online stories. but this one is my "favourite!" :P
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm glad it's one of your FAVOURITES! ;) 

And I know, British spelling is quite weird! I had American schooling up until I was about 14, but I still had to write British, so it was super confusing for me to have to pick the right spellings the whole time. I got so confused. :faint:

Thanks again for all your awesome help, my friend! I truly appreciate it LOADS!!! :glomp:
Reply
:iconanimeart-by-ari-a:
AnimeART-by-Ari-a Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
this.... HAS TO BE A PUBLISHED BOOK, RIGHT??????? i mean, the awesomeness of it... i dont believe i've ever seen anything like it on dA!!
Reply
:iconweasleywoman:
WeasleyWoman Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Tell me about it! Ez is a genius with pen and paper (or fingers and keyboard :XD:)! :la:
Reply
:iconanimeart-by-ari-a:
AnimeART-by-Ari-a Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
amg totally true! 
Reply
:iconsupersyndrome:
supersyndrome Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
You had me laughing out loud when Gangfield stole her opening line. I literally had to stop reading to finish laughing first. xD 
I love this chapter, amazingly well written. I really felt for Ruth in all her frustration and her clumsy efforts, and as expected I am becoming a huge Gangfield fangirl. Great dialogue and emotional pressure here. Well done!! :D :D 
Reply
:icondisneylife:
disneylife Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Good job!
Reply
:iconinvierno1505:
Invierno1505 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2013  Student General Artist
Greeeat cliffhanger! xD
Well, more like foreshadowing. :')

Loving the humor, btw xD
Reply
:iconlelittleluna:
LeLittleLuna Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Student Filmographer
okay that is it....
I am taking Gangfield and keeping him for myself.

Sicily would probably have botched every elegible bachelor "date" she ever had, just to give her grandparents grief.

Can I totally just be under the table with Gangfield and Dennis and just talk?
I love rats and a good under the table chit chat. you can learn ever so much!
Reply
:iconeffielil:
effielil Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Can i be under the table with Gangfield?? Seriously, at every chapter i fall more and more in love!
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
YES YOU CAN!!! :la: As long as you don't mind rats. :giggle: But rats are super cute so I guess that won't be a problem! :XD:

Really happy to know you like ol' Gangfield! :D Because like I said, I worry that I'm making him too annoying or even pretentious sometimes. :blush:

Thank you for taking the time to read my work and for taking the time to comment. I truly appreciate it so much! I actually can't express it in words! JUST THANK YOU!!! :glomp: :heart:
Reply
:iconeffielil:
effielil Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Naah as long as I don't have to feed him or take care of his litter and things like that - cause he'd be dead in a week - I'm fine! I think he CAN be annoying to some people at first (Theodore??) but thats cool because it's like with people, some love you, some can't stand you :D
Some think your attitude is gr9 some take it as a flaw of yours.

Personally I love his smugness and general sassyness and perceiveness - I dont even know if these I'm using are words - and how he's not afraid to just speak his mind..and also hes intense (when he's serious)! i want him

AAHHH YOURE SO WELCOME thank YOU for sharing with us :heart:
Reply
:iconmiintsy:
Miintsy Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Is it horrible of me to want Gangfield and Ruth to end up together? I mean, I just love their banter, and Gangfield is oh-so charming!

Anywho, great story! I can't wait to start reading the next chapter!
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Is it horrible? Haha! Of course not!! :XD: :giggle: I think they'd make an adorable couple. They'd always be laughing at everything. :D

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment! I really appreciate it LOADS!!! :glomp: :heart:

Please don't hesitate to share any of your thoughts or let me know if I'm doing something wrong. I'm still learning a lot when it comes to writing, and I appreciate any and all input. :D

THANKS AGAIN!! :heart:
Reply
:iconfrantwerp:
Frantwerp Featured By Owner May 16, 2013
yet another great chapter! yay! finally met Mr. Byron!:la: i must say, he did not look like i expected at all (which is not necessarily a bad thing ;) ) you should draw him sometime if you find the time! :) (and if you feel like it of course)
i loved the scene where gangfield was being so protective over ruth :aww: (when he said that byron wasn't good enough for her, and afterwards trying to be intimidating ;p that was so sweet! it was nice to see such a caring side of him)
and no, i did not find anything confusing (:
maybe one little thing: at one point, Mrs Rosewood says to ruth that she should 'get her act together', and that somehow didn't sound very 19th-century-ish if you know what i mean. But on the other hand, english is not my native language so what do i know (;
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Okay, first off, thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. I truly appreciate it so much, you have no idea! :glomp: :heart:

Hmmmmm! I wonder, hey! About the 'get act together' bit... I actually have no idea if it's period-appropriate. I wish there were a way to check. :P I guess I'll leave it to simmer in there for now. But yes, it's very likely that it's wrong. Thanks for letting me know. I'll keep an eye out to see if I can check up on that one! :D

I have drawn Byron!! :D He's top left here --> [link] It's really old and I'd love to redraw him sometime, but I hope that's enough to give you an idea just for now. :meow:

Glad you enjoyed it, Thank you for your thorough input! Please let me know if you find anything else that's off. I will check in on that one phrase in the meantime!!!

THANK YOU!!!! :glomp:
Reply
:iconfrantwerp:
Frantwerp Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013
i've been thinking, about the 'get your act together', maybe 'get hold of yourself' could be another way to put it? i don't know, just thought about it and thought i'd mention it to you ^^
have a great day!:)
Reply
:iconfrantwerp:
Frantwerp Featured By Owner May 17, 2013
you're very welcome!^^ happy to help (:
yeah, it's not of that great importance, so i shouldn't worry about too hard (; it's just a feeling i got -y-
and yay! i'll check it out :la:
Reply
:iconhoney-senpai12:
honey-senpai12 Featured By Owner May 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Seriously can't wait for the next chapter. Love the story so far. keep up the good work!
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner May 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
SERIOUSLY? REALLY?!? :wow: Omigosh, thanks so so SO much!!! :glomp:

I'm really working hard on Chapter 5 right now. I hope to have it out by the end of the month, so please keep an eye out! :D

THANK YOU!!! :iconarmstrongtighthugplz:
Reply
:iconhoney-senpai12:
honey-senpai12 Featured By Owner May 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I will most defiantly keep an eye out for chapter five.
Reply
:iconbrushogen:
Brushogen Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013
Ok, now I really can't wait to find out what happened between the little lovebirds
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
EXCELLENT! Because yesterday I totally finalised what had happened!! :la: Finally after like two years I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!! :XD:

You think I should let it slip in dialogue and exposition, or would you like to see a fully-fledged flashback? Please, your input on this would be awesome!

Thanks for taking the time to read it and comment!! :glomp:
Reply
:iconbrushogen:
Brushogen Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013
flashback. Way cooler
Reply
:iconfleoyulps:
fleoyulps Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
ME WANT MOOORE!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I WANT TO GIVE YOU MOOOOORE!!!! :la:

Can I ask you something huge, please?? Do you think I should let slip what happened between Ruth and Theodore in tidbits and dialogue, or would you like to see a fully-fledged flashback? I don't know which to do. ^^;

Thanks for reading!! :glomp:
Reply
:iconfleoyulps:
fleoyulps Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
lol.
hmm i think the flash back would be good you know like she was talking with sombody or doing somthing and while doing that somthing she had a flashback. :aww:. er..umm or never mind
ps: omg i cant belive you asked "me" .:la:
Reply
:iconpridipdiyoren:
Pridipdiyoren Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2013  Student Digital Artist
OMG!! It's awesome... how else?! :D :D I love it! Chester is best... he can always make me laugh :) And if I could ask you... don't you want expand your story to another language? :)
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment!! :glomp: It's so good to hear you're enjoying it!! :D

Uhm, actually the thought of translating it into another language never crossed my mind. It hardly finds an audience in English, so it's hard to imagine a large enough group of people speaking another language would be interested. :blush:

I think for now it'll stay English. ^^; Thanks for the suggestion, though :D
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×
Download PDF download, 395 KB

Featured in Collections

Stories by x-Lilou-chan-x


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
April 15, 2013
File Size
395 KB
Link
Thumb
Embed

Stats

Views
5,498
Favourites
84 (who?)
Comments
75
Downloads
456
×