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The Valiard Mansion - Chapter 5 by The-Ez The Valiard Mansion - Chapter 5 by The-Ez

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Theodore and Adam finally travel to the Valiard Mansion for their first day of work. What will they find there? And is it really haunted? :giggle:

My longest chapter yet! :w00t: :XD:

Any and all input very welcome. Thanks for bearing with me, guys! :hug: :heart:


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The Valiard Mansion - Chapter 4 by The-Ez CHAPTER 4 << | CHAPTER 5 | >> CHAPTER 6 The Valiard Mansion - Chapter 6 by The-Ez
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:icondarkxpheonix:
DarkxPheonix Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2015  Student General Artist
Can I just say, this story is amazing! I love the writing style and the imagery, you explain things so well and it's almost like I'm watching a movie or something cause I can see it all in my head! The expressions, the settings, everything! It's so cool!
One other thing though was on page 6 where you started to explain where the supply room was and you were explaining what the workshop looked like. I read it and thought it looked familiar, then I remembered that you already explained the warehouse in the last chapter and it was the same thing. I don't know if you meant to put that in there twice or if it was a mistake or something.
I hope that made sense...... But other than that the story is amazing, you're amazing!
Reply
:icon3fangs:
3Fangs Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2014
I admit my only complaint with these last two chapters has been a lack in art within the document itself...but your gallery leaves plenty to be found, so it's a minor complaint. ;)
The plot thickens!! Now we have met the character of the Mansion, if such a house may be deemed a "character", which I think in this case it surely must be.
I like that you have a limited set so far, we're not jumping around to a lot of different locations. And the pacing is still as strong, neither too fast, nor too slow.
Yes. Adam CAN be a trifle annoying at times, but that's really just his personality and age. I love how all your characters are depicted with their own unique personalities, that each differ so strongly from each other. It really makes them stand out.
Heh, I kinda feel sorry for Theodore--I'm sure Adam is hardly what he'd want in an apprentice! :doh:
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yeah, I struggle to find time to do the illustrations in between university and now work. And at the same time, I can't let readers wait just because I'm hogging the chapters to finish the drawings. Drawings are ancillary anyway. It's the story that is of paramount importance.

Thanks for your input on Adam. I get worried that people might find him too annoying, though they should find him a little frustrating at least. :XD: Thanks so much!
Reply
:icon3fangs:
3Fangs Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014
Aye, and besides, once the story is complete, THEN you can add the art in. Design a nice pdf for printing. :nod:
As long as we're told the story NOW, we can appreciate the art LATER.
(And as I said, if readers are really dying for some character art, you have a gallery full of it!) :aww:

Personally I find you manage a good balance with Adam--he's just frustrating enough, but in en entirely believable way. It's his personality and age.
(If he weren't that way, he wouldn't be his own character, or serve the plot the way he does.) ;)
I wonder if he'll go through any changes by the end of the story? Learn any lessons and perhaps grow up a little bit, eh?
Reply
:icongoldenliar1:
goldenliar1 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
talented! 
are you confused with your career options?
the writer/artist thing?
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks so much for taking the time to read this! :glomp: :heart: Please let me know if you notice anything that's wrong or stupid. I'm still learning so I appreciate any input! :w00t:

And naw, I'm not confused with my career options. :meow: I know exactly what they are and I choose to ignore most of them. :evillaugh: I'm going to keep doing lawyer stuff for the foreseeable future, hopefully go into litigation. It's easy money. :D
Reply
:icongoldenliar1:
goldenliar1 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
The career thing was a joke.

Your story is awesome!
Keep waiting for the ghosts!!
Reply
:iconmalbondesigns:
MalbonDesigns Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2014  Student Digital Artist
This story is so wonderful!
Reply
:iconmalbondesigns:
MalbonDesigns Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2014  Student Digital Artist
:O
Reply
:icondaily92:
Daily92 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
OMG, OMG, OMG!!! The ending is so much OMG! Makes me want to read the next chapter as soon as possible!! La la la la 
Reply
:iconheavensbee:
Heavensbee Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Hobbyist
YAAAAAY! Theodore's POV! And now I shall continue to read this awesomeness.
Reply
:iconsupersyndrome:
supersyndrome Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
After some time I finally got around to continue reading ^^ I love how vivid your writing style is, you can definitely see that your mind works in animated scenes. There's a lot of specific movements and expressions described that makes it almost ridiculously easy for me to picture it as I read. And yet you also write about Theodore's thoughts elaborately, balancing that out very nicely where many authors excel tip the scales to either movement and happenings or thoughts and dialogue. Do I still make sense? It's a compliment. :P 
I can't decide whose team I'm on, Theodores or Gangfields! Gangfield is the type of character that I cannot help falling for, but then you go and make Theodore such a sweet guy... Dangit!! On to the next chapter, I'll figure it out sometime. 
Reply
:iconaisling66:
Aisling66 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
nice cliff hanger
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Eeeeey thanks!! :D :icongaywinkplz:
Reply
:iconglory-day:
Glory-Day Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I NEEEDD NUMBERRR 6!!!!!!!D:
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
HERE IT IS!!! :la: ---> fav.me/d6gaow7

Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment! :glomp: It really means the world to me! :heart: I truly hope you're enjoying the story and that you enjoy it in future. And if you hate it, PLEASE TELL ME! I'm still learning! :D

Thanks again!!!!! :hug:
Reply
:icondisneylife:
disneylife Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
CLIFFHANGER!Tantrum  I want to read whats next!!!!!!!:squee: Deviation love 
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
YOU CAN READ WHAT'S NEXT! :la: RIGHT NOW!!! ---> fav.me/d6gaow7

All seriousness, thanks SO much for taking the time to read and comment! I truly value your opinion because you're such a sweet person and you're always supporting me! I always see your username in my comment threads and you're SO SUPER NICE!!! :glomp: Thank you just for everything you awesome person!! :heart:

If you do read the next chapter, please don't hesitate to share your thoughts. I'm still learning how to write properly and any input you can give me would be amazing! I would totally trust you. (no pressure! haha :D)

Thanks again!!!! :hug:
Reply
:icondisneylife:
disneylife Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
You're welcome! And thanks!Hug  I just love all your art and writing and characters and everything and I am always excited when I see something new that you have done in my messages!Gallery  So if that happens you must be doing a bunch of stuff right! Clap 
Reply
:iconsmilindolfin:
Smilindolfin Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Student General Artist
Oh my goodness, I just found this story and I am SO SO SO glad I did!!!!

I love all of your characters! (I actually started reading because of your fabulous drawings)

PLEASE PLEASE write more soon!!!!!! I can't stand the suspense!!! ^_^
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Omigosh, I'm so sorry for only replying to your comment now! It got lost in the jumble during my exams! :blush: I feel like such a clod! I'm sorry!!! :XD:

Thanks so super much for taking the time to read and comment! :heart: I'm so very happy you're enjoying my silly story!

Please feel free to let me know if you ever notice me doing anything stupid in my writing. ^^; I really want to improve! :D

THANKS AGAIN!!! :glomp: :heart:
Reply
:iconsmilindolfin:
Smilindolfin Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Student General Artist
It's totally okay!!! :D  You're not a clod! (not precisely sure what that is, but I'm positive you aren't one!)



Are you planning to publish this story, cause you really should! (And I know a few people, including me, who would purchase it!!!)


I will!  But I highly doubt you will make too many mistakes, and if you do, people won't notice! Your writing sounds very professional!  AND I LOVE IT.
I noticed you have your next chapter up, so I'll be getting to that soon!!


YOURE VERY WELCOME!!!!   <3
Reply
:iconlilliangebe:
LillianGebe Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013
See what, see what?! Oh the suspense! *gasps for air*

On a different note: I love the Wythert family. They made me burst out laughing, and I felt the warmth of a good family between them. (Even with Salty).

I am busting with anticipation to read what happens next! o.O
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hiya! :wave: I'm SO sorry for only replying to your comment now! :blush: It got lost in the jumble during my exam time! :faint:

I just want to say HUGE thank you for taking the time to read and comment! :glomp: I'm so relieved you liked the way I wrote about the Wythert family, because I really did want a homey feel to them. :giggle:

Just thank you, is all I can say, really!!! :la: :heart: I truly hope you'll enjoy the story as it goes on, and if you DON'T you just let me know, okay!!! I promise I would love to know it! :D

THANK YOU!!!! :iconarmstrongtighthugplz:
Reply
:iconlilliangebe:
LillianGebe Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013
You are very sweet. Heart 

I had a fan girl squeal when I saw you had the next chapter ready. I think I've fainted.  I am so excited to read it!

And just thought I would let you know, you are an amazing person. Nod  With your art skills and story telling, I am completely jealous, and also admire you.
Reply
:iconspecbear:
specbear Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013  Student General Artist
Wow, I can't wait for the next chapter ;u;
Great story!
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
First off, thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. I really appreciate it! :heart:

I'm busy with Chapter 6 right now and hopefully it will be done mid to end July, so please watch this space!

Do let me know if you have any thoughts or suggestions about the story. I appreciate any and all input!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :glomp:
Reply
:iconspecbear:
specbear Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013  Student General Artist
Anytime, hun!
I know how much even a simple comment can mean to any artist ;u;

Ee, I can't wait!
I'm really anxious to find out the details of what happened before with Ruth and Theodore!
And Gangfield is such an awesome character.

No problem at all and keep up the great work!
Reply
:iconileaheart:
ileaheart Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Nooooooooooo!!! I want to read moooooore Dx
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm soooorreeeyyyy!!!! :la:

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment! :heart: I'm working on Chapter 6 right now and I hope to have it out by the end of July! :D Please watch this space!!!

THANK YOU!!! :glomp:
Reply
:iconileaheart:
ileaheart Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh I'm definitely watching alright! Can't wait >.<!! It's a really good story, it got me back to reading again. Thank you! I hope you have a great time! :D
Reply
:iconinvierno1505:
Invierno1505 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2013  Student General Artist
So good! So much mystery!

And I'm finding it very difficult to picture the mansion xD Could it be possible to see a piece of artwork with the characters in the mansion? :D Or in front of it? (Well, you know, Adam and Theo getting closer, plus forests, etc?) I do love that we're in the mansion, though ^_^

Who's in charge of the mansion, btw? o: I wants to know!! (It'd be pretty amazeballs if the place is getting renovated for the Simmonses (or whatever their name is) o.o

So far so great, though c:
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hey! Thanks again for reading!! :D

Unfortunately, the Mansion is still very much under construction. ;) A very dear friend of mine is helping me work on its design, so hopefully we'll have something to show soon! :aww:

The person in charge of the Mansion is an independent third party, I'm afraid. Definitely not the Simmonses. ^^;

And other than that, I've still not found the time to add more drawings. Please bear with me! I promise that if I do any drawings for past chapters, I'll upload them as separate deviations as well, so you won't miss a thing!

THANK YOU!!!! :heart:
Reply
:iconturtlemandan:
Turtlemandan Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2013
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, CLIFFHANGER!!!!! I'm really enjoying this story, the characters are awesome. I just wish there was at least 1 picture for each character such as Byron and Florence.
I read the first chapter and I just couldn't stop. You are both skilled in drawing and in writing. :) Please continue writing. I'm absolutely in love with this story.
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh gosh! Thank you SO MUCH for reading ALL FIVE CHAPTERS! :faint: You're so sweet, thank you!!

Thanks also for taking the time to comment! :D I'm super psyched to know you're enjoying my silly little story! :blush:

You can see a pic of Byron here if you like --> [link] (top left) :) I just don't have time in between studies to keep adding pics throughout. I'll catch up with adding illustrations in my upcoming winter break! :D

Thanks again! You're AWESOME! :heart:
Reply
:iconturtlemandan:
Turtlemandan Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2013
You're welcome :) I really look forward to reading more.
Reply
:iconhoney-senpai12:
honey-senpai12 Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
can't wait for the next part!!!
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
YAY! Thank you so super much!! :glomp:
Reply
:iconkelnicole:
kelnicole Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
No, it can't stop there! I must keep reading!
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm sorry it ends there!! :la: :XD:

I'm hard at work on Chapter 6, though! Please keep an eye out! :blush:

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment! I appreciate it loads!!! :glomp:
Reply
:iconcolourfulgenius:
Colourfulgenius Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I just couldn't stop scrolling down to read more and then the chapter was already over! I can't wait for the next part...ho ho ho what will happen! :typerhappy:
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment! :la: :glomp:

I'm hard at work on Chapter 6 so please watch this space!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :blush: :hug:
Reply
:iconrbkninja:
RBKNinja Featured By Owner May 18, 2013  Hobbyist
Did you HAVE to leave it on such a cliffhanger?! That's just cruel. :')
You positively must upload the next chapter! :iconglompplz:
I truly adore your art and this story is like the cherry ontop of the already sugary delicious sunday :3
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
HEY! Sorry for the late reply. :blush: I've been quite absent from dA this past while and comments get lost in the stacks. :blush:

I just really want to thank you for taking the time to read and comment!! :blush: I really hope you'll like what's coming!!! :la: Chapter 6 is coming soon, promise! :D

Thanks again!!!!!
Reply
:iconrbkninja:
RBKNinja Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013  Hobbyist
That's totally fine =^_^= :cuddle:
I'm not surprised. You have so many followers who adore your work :)

You're completely welcome! Ahhh! It is?!?! :iconlalalaplz: I can't wait!
Reply
:iconjesteppi:
Jesteppi Featured By Owner May 15, 2013  Hobbyist
Can't wait to read the next chapter; nice place to leave off! ;)
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
AHHHH! Thank you for reading the whole thing, omigosh! :faint:

And I thought the way I ended it was rather cheap. :giggle: I'd have written more, but then the chapter would never get uploaded. :XD:

THANKS SO MUCH SERIOUSLY! :glomp: :hug:
Reply
:iconjesteppi:
Jesteppi Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist
No prob! Although one thing I did notice was that when they pulled up to the mansion, it says they parked under a tree and walked in. Then inside it's bustling. I think you should mention that there were several other carts and carriages parked around the property so that it is apparent that thee place is a little busy to begin with. Otherwise, it seems like they're alone, and then there's a bunch of people inside. (OR IS THAT PART OF THE PLOT?.....ghosts?...) Hahah XD I love it though
Reply
:iconthe-ez:
The-Ez Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh golly gosh! You're absolutely right! Where are the other people's horses? NOWHERE! Oh geez, thanks so much. I'll fix that ASAP! :facepalm: :XD: HAHAHAHA!

Seriously thanks for bringing my attention to this. What a silly mistake to make. :giggle: :glomp:
Reply
:iconjesteppi:
Jesteppi Featured By Owner May 23, 2013  Hobbyist
No problem! It just threw me off for a moment, so I thought it might have others as well. Excellent read though! :D
Reply
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