Can I just say, this story is amazing! I love the writing style and the imagery, you explain things so well and it's almost like I'm watching a movie or something cause I can see it all in my head! The expressions, the settings, everything! It's so cool! One other thing though was on page 6 where you started to explain where the supply room was and you were explaining what the workshop looked like. I read it and thought it looked familiar, then I remembered that you already explained the warehouse in the last chapter and it was the same thing. I don't know if you meant to put that in there twice or if it was a mistake or something. I hope that made sense...... But other than that the story is amazing, you're amazing!
I admit my only complaint with these last two chapters has been a lack in art within the document itself...but your gallery leaves plenty to be found, so it's a minor complaint. The plot thickens!! Now we have met the character of the Mansion, if such a house may be deemed a "character", which I think in this case it surely must be. I like that you have a limited set so far, we're not jumping around to a lot of different locations. And the pacing is still as strong, neither too fast, nor too slow. Yes. Adam CAN be a trifle annoying at times, but that's really just his personality and age. I love how all your characters are depicted with their own unique personalities, that each differ so strongly from each other. It really makes them stand out. Heh, I kinda feel sorry for Theodore--I'm sure Adam is hardly what he'd want in an apprentice!
Yeah, I struggle to find time to do the illustrations in between university and now work. And at the same time, I can't let readers wait just because I'm hogging the chapters to finish the drawings. Drawings are ancillary anyway. It's the story that is of paramount importance.
Thanks for your input on Adam. I get worried that people might find him too annoying, though they should find him a little frustrating at least. Thanks so much!
Aye, and besides, once the story is complete, THEN you can add the art in. Design a nice pdf for printing. As long as we're told the story NOW, we can appreciate the art LATER. (And as I said, if readers are really dying for some character art, you have a gallery full of it!)
Personally I find you manage a good balance with Adam--he's just frustrating enough, but in en entirely believable way. It's his personality and age. (If he weren't that way, he wouldn't be his own character, or serve the plot the way he does.) I wonder if he'll go through any changes by the end of the story? Learn any lessons and perhaps grow up a little bit, eh?
Thanks so much for taking the time to read this! Please let me know if you notice anything that's wrong or stupid. I'm still learning so I appreciate any input!
And naw, I'm not confused with my career options. I know exactly what they are and I choose to ignore most of them. I'm going to keep doing lawyer stuff for the foreseeable future, hopefully go into litigation. It's easy money.
After some time I finally got around to continue reading ^^ I love how vivid your writing style is, you can definitely see that your mind works in animated scenes. There's a lot of specific movements and expressions described that makes it almost ridiculously easy for me to picture it as I read. And yet you also write about Theodore's thoughts elaborately, balancing that out very nicely where many authors excel tip the scales to either movement and happenings or thoughts and dialogue. Do I still make sense? It's a compliment.
I can't decide whose team I'm on, Theodores or Gangfields! Gangfield is the type of character that I cannot help falling for, but then you go and make Theodore such a sweet guy... Dangit!! On to the next chapter, I'll figure it out sometime.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment! It really means the world to me! I truly hope you're enjoying the story and that you enjoy it in future. And if you hate it, PLEASE TELL ME! I'm still learning!
All seriousness, thanks SO much for taking the time to read and comment! I truly value your opinion because you're such a sweet person and you're always supporting me! I always see your username in my comment threads and you're SO SUPER NICE!!! Thank you just for everything you awesome person!!
If you do read the next chapter, please don't hesitate to share your thoughts. I'm still learning how to write properly and any input you can give me would be amazing! I would totally trust you. (no pressure! haha )
You're welcome! And thanks! I just love all your art and writing and characters and everything and I am always excited when I see something new that you have done in my messages! So if that happens you must be doing a bunch of stuff right!
It's totally okay!!! You're not a clod! (not precisely sure what that is, but I'm positive you aren't one!)
Are you planning to publish this story, cause you really should! (And I know a few people, including me, who would purchase it!!!)
I will! But I highly doubt you will make too many mistakes, and if you do, people won't notice! Your writing sounds very professional! AND I LOVE IT. I noticed you have your next chapter up, so I'll be getting to that soon!!
And I'm finding it very difficult to picture the mansion xD Could it be possible to see a piece of artwork with the characters in the mansion? Or in front of it? (Well, you know, Adam and Theo getting closer, plus forests, etc?) I do love that we're in the mansion, though ^_^
Who's in charge of the mansion, btw? o: I wants to know!! (It'd be pretty amazeballs if the place is getting renovated for the Simmonses (or whatever their name is) o.o
Unfortunately, the Mansion is still very much under construction. A very dear friend of mine is helping me work on its design, so hopefully we'll have something to show soon!
The person in charge of the Mansion is an independent third party, I'm afraid. Definitely not the Simmonses.
And other than that, I've still not found the time to add more drawings. Please bear with me! I promise that if I do any drawings for past chapters, I'll upload them as separate deviations as well, so you won't miss a thing!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, CLIFFHANGER!!!!! I'm really enjoying this story, the characters are awesome. I just wish there was at least 1 picture for each character such as Byron and Florence. I read the first chapter and I just couldn't stop. You are both skilled in drawing and in writing. Please continue writing. I'm absolutely in love with this story.
Oh gosh! Thank you SO MUCH for reading ALL FIVE CHAPTERS! You're so sweet, thank you!!
Thanks also for taking the time to comment! I'm super psyched to know you're enjoying my silly little story!
You can see a pic of Byron here if you like --> [link] (top left) I just don't have time in between studies to keep adding pics throughout. I'll catch up with adding illustrations in my upcoming winter break!
Did you HAVE to leave it on such a cliffhanger?! That's just cruel. :') You positively must upload the next chapter! I truly adore your art and this story is like the cherry ontop of the already sugary delicious sunday :3
No prob! Although one thing I did notice was that when they pulled up to the mansion, it says they parked under a tree and walked in. Then inside it's bustling. I think you should mention that there were several other carts and carriages parked around the property so that it is apparent that thee place is a little busy to begin with. Otherwise, it seems like they're alone, and then there's a bunch of people inside. (OR IS THAT PART OF THE PLOT?.....ghosts?...) Hahah XD I love it though